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Pablo Hernandez' "Bitch I'm a Bottom feat. Manila Luzon" - Song Review


   Ok, so I may have initially clicked the "play" button because I've stared stupidly and salivated over many revealing Andrew Christian advertisements featuring the hunky Pablo Hernandez over the last few years... but I stayed and continued to hit "replay" for the countless references that many gay man will certainly relate to.

   The gorgeous model is branching out and using his gay icon fame by releasing his debut single "Bitch I'm a Bottom", a sexual parody of pop queen Madonna's latest single from her underrated Rebel Heart. Featuring an impressive rap verse from RuPaul's Drag Race season three queen Manila Luzon, the track may become a campy anthem for the eager, hungry bottoms of the world. It's about time we've had a voice!

   "Bitch I'm a Bottom" is nothing utterly brilliant that will garner critical praise or future GRAMMY recognition, that certainly wasn't the end goal. The newly released parody is a simple, carefree and fun creation that will generate some laughs in the clubs as listeners are treated to lyrics referencing enemas, hung tops and humping until the sun comes up. Not bad in a hard day's work.

   Hernandez, with a vocal performance altered beyond recognition, sings about a lifestyle many gay men shy away from. The unapologetic songwriting and sense of confidence with a slight dose of cockiness makes for a perfect, pop/dance combination. "You get hard or you go home, wanna get it till the morn, I'll get kinky if you want, bitch I'm a bottom," the artist boldly sings on the track's chorus as the familiar Madonna-approved beat comes through the speakers.


   While the Andrew Christian model does a commendable job, the spotlight ultimately belongs to Miss Manila Luzon, who contributes a pop culture heavy verse about beating up a bottom in the bedroom. Delicious. From referencing Britney Spears to Sidney Prescott of the Scream film series and capping it off by comparing herself to Optimus Prime, it's probably one of the most exciting and unexpected rap contributions of 2015. *drops mic

   Again, the parody is harmless fun. "Bitch I'm a Bottom" is a creative idea that may have been perfected with slightly less AutoTune and polished verses about the life of a bottom, but for what it is, the track is a pretty solid effort. Hernandez could eventually go the way of many Drag Race contestants who release music specifically geared towards the gay community. Either way, I'm just looking forward to the next Andrew Christian promo video!

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