Jennifer Aniston is America

Jennifer Aniston is in the 19th century throwback magazine Haper's Bazaar. I didn't even know there still was a Harper's Bazaar. Who still reads that? Old ladies with big broaches on their frilly dresses and those little eyeglasses on a stick that's who. But there she is in what's probably the greatest picture ever taken. It makes you want to punch commies doesn't it? She really can do no wrong. Except for the time she married that clown show Jackie Throwback or whatever the Hell his name supposedly is. C'mon Jen the guy is in his 40's and still wears skinny jeans, if you want to hang out and play with falcons and punch commies you need to hang out with someone like me. Don't worry you'll be perfectly safe I'll just dial the danger level back until you feel more comfortable.